We all know her, have been a target of her, have been super annoyed by her; and sometimes, try as we might, may have even been her… I have lucked out, being a first time mom of an almost seven week old little boy, I’ve had hardly anyone pass judgment on my parenting (to my face at least.) I see it all the time though, and I find it quite frustrating. I honestly don’t much care what people have to say about my parenting, but it’s really annoying to see everywhere, and see people I care about being targeted and getting upset over this crap. A lot of it from strangers even! I cannot believe the cowardice of some of these women. Taking pictures of mom’s, who are complete strangers, and post them on social media, posting and privately shaming these women for simply not doing things the same way they do.
Some try to play the safety advocate…. “I saw this woman in the store doing this one thing I read was unsafe on a meme somewhere, OMG I couldn’t believe it.”
“I saw this woman in the park doing something legitimately unsafe, but I’m just gonna post about it and talk behind her back and tell everyone I know.” Ok, I get that approaching anyone, especially a random person about something that isn’t safe may be difficult, awkward, and even be unwelcome… but if you really cared about that child’s safety as much as you claim to, what good is it doing by going behind this mom’s back? Maybe she’s unaware, or maybe she has done research that reached a different conclusion… It honestly seems like some women just feel the need to put down another mother’s parenting to make themselves seem righteous somehow. It’s one thing to think “Oh, look what shes letting her child do…. I wouldn’t let my child do that.” It’s another thing entirely to try to shame any parent. We ALL know how difficult it can be, and there is always so much new information available, it’s hard to keep up on all of it. We are all trying to do the best we can to raise our children, the way WE see fit.
Oh hey, that mom over there has her kid in/doing/wearing something I just read may be unsafe. If the child’s safety is really of that much concern, why not go ask about it? They may not know any better. In fact, that thing you read may be wrong, or outdated, maybe they’ve done more research on the matter than you have. But noooo, “I gotta instagram this shit so we can all talk shit on the random woman who’s just doing the best she can to keep it together with whatever she might have going on in her life.”
If you breast feed, why shame a mom feeding her baby formula? It’s obviously what’s best for her and her child, for whatever reason, it’s none of your fucking business.
If you formula feed, it’s not your place to shame and try and sexualize a woman breastfeeding. AS LONG AS YOUR BABIES ARE GETTING FED, WHY DOES IT FUCKING MATTER!?
If you can stay at home with your kids while your partner goes to work, cool. Just because a woman goes to work all day herself rather than be at home, it doesn’t mean she cares any less about her children, or is neglecting them…. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to stay home, you don’t know their situation so shut your damn mouth and be fucking grateful you can stay home.
If you’re a career woman with a family, and you go out and work your 9-5 or whatever, that’s cool. Keep in mind that just because a woman stays at home with her children, it doesn’t mean she’s falling under “gender stereotypes” and it certainly doesn’t mean she’s not a strong woman. Did it not occur to you that maybe that’s what she WANTS to do??? Did you forget those weeks you took off of work to be with your baby? Do you not remember how much WORK being a mom, and taking care of the home is!? FOR FUCKS SAKE, leave them to do their thing and go make your paper boo boo.
Do we forget that though we all may do things differently, we are all essentially on the same side? We all have the same goal: to raise our children the best we can, keep them healthy and happy so they can be awesome adults. Whatever that mom over there is doing that you don’t agree with, just leave it be! Who are you to play Judge Judy? Cookie cutter kids, would turn into cookie cutter adults, and how boring would that shit be?